Only in New Zealand

This time I will start with disclosure: It has been  a long time since I was planning to write a post about the uniqueness of this amazing place that I live in. However, the final idea and the inspiration for writing this post are totally credited to my Facebook friend Racheli Ben Haim-Faler.

Only in NZ a lost penguin or a seal can make it to the front page of main national newspaper and stay there for the entire week.
Only in NZ could the government pass a new legislation, "Mondayizing" holidays that fall on a weekend day, so Kiwis wouldn't feel robbed of their well deserved day off.
Only in NZ , on Monday to Wednesday, the main talk of the day would be about the past weekend experiences and on Thursday to Friday, it would be about the plans for the upcoming weekend. Life is busy making plans!
Only in NZ can you find quite impressive variety of Gluten Free options in every restaurant menu, but virtually nothing can be found for Diabetics. NZ is among countries with the highest incidence of Diabetes. Something (NOT) to be proud of!
Only in NZ you can cross the road diagonally on X-shaped intersections, creating seemingly chaotic movement of pedestrians at the intersection.

Only in NZ policemen are not carrying any weapons and are happy to give health advise (smoking is bad and so is speaking on the cell phone without speaker:-) with a smile to any passerby.
Only in NZ coffee culture is, at least, as good and developed as in Israel, making it very difficult to choose the next spot for coffee tasting. They are all amazing!

Only in NZ everything is served with butter on the side, no matter how sweet or sour the meal in question is.
Only in NZ when driver sees a road sign of a Kiwi bird, he/she slows down by 90%, to minimize the already minimal chance of driving over one of NZ's most precious symbols, a bird without wings, during the day light.

Only in NZ a traveler is made to clean his shoes at the entrance to/ exit from every National Park/ reserve, by a request sign and detergents provided, without any direct supervision. I have never seen anyone avoiding the duty.
Only in NZ you are requested to "Only leave your footprints" in all National Parks. And this is precisely how people act. (...Carmel forests come to mind, after Independence Day celebrations...hhmmm...)

Only in NZ can you find farmer's produce sold on the road sides and in rural areas with "Honesty Box" as payment method. A buyer is expected to leave the money in a box and take change if needed. The farmer won't be found anywhere near, he is busy with the important things!

Only in NZ people are often walking with their bare feet on streets and their feet remain surprisingly clean.
Only in NZ you can drive for 45 minutes on an absolutely empty gravel road, thinking that your are definitely lost, and then reach your destination and see a car park full of cars.

Only in NZ black color is the color of national pride rather then grief (Go The All Blacks, Black Caps, Ice Blacks, etc...!!!!!!!!!). On a national flag referendum one of the proposals for the flag is Silver fern on the black background.

Only in NZ bio-security is something that is taken way more seriously then civil security and dogs in the airport are for the purpose of sniffing foods, rather then explosives.
Only in NZ taxi driver will give you a free lift just because he was driving in your direction anyway.
Only in NZ can the boss at work admit his mistake and declare that his top priority is to keep his employees happy at their work place.
Only in NZ on the employment interview, the interviewer means exactly what he says, no hidden sub-contexts to be found (trying to silence my Israeli trained mind).
Only in NZ the ultimate point of reference for the progress in the world is either UK or Australia. Nothing else really matters.
Only in NZ ratio of sheep to humans is 16:1.

Only in NZ all National Parks, most of museums and many other tourist attractions are free of charge. (Australian Blue Mountains with 12$ per hour parking rate in the middle of the forest, come to mind...)
Only in NZ "Work- life balance" is something to die for(...or to live for, for that matter:-)!
Only in NZ "Mid-winter Christmas" was invented, because waiting for the real Christmas is taking too long!
Only in NZ can you find a church with a welcoming board stating: "Two of every kind are welcome."

Only in NZ the average age of nurses is 45, because there is no rush to work...or study...
Only in NZ you can't sue anyone for financial compensation due to injury, because national institution ACC covers all the expenses. So why take personal responsibility for anything....?
Only in NZ and two other countries in the world (Israel and Denmark) there is a health service for mothers and their young babies, called Plunket, because "prevention is the best medicine". (This logic got, unfortunately, lost somewhere ,along the way, in Israel).
Only in NZ sun protective lotion is offered for free use to public in every public place in the sun.
Only in NZ permitted alcohol level limit was 4 times higher then in the most western countries until just few months back.
Only in NZ when someone talks to you about his/her partner, you never know who exactly they are talking about: male/female, husband/wife/bf/gf/flatmate/business partner????????
Only in NZ average number of sexual partners for women is 23,4 and for men 16, in their lifetime (as per big Durex survey in 2012). This is when 'easy-going" and "laid back" culture gets an additional meaning.

Only in NZ I have chosen to raise my children and enjoy everything this wonderful country has to offer.

Post- double immigration effect

It seems only natural for me to write on immigration topic, especially, after living through two immigrations in my own life. Nevertheless, I must admit, that it is not an easy mission to pen something sensible about such diverse experiences. I have first immigrated with my family from USSR to Israel at 11 years of age. Needless to say, that next 24 years spent in Israel have significantly shaped me and made me a person I am today. Being a teenager in an immigrant family is a topic on it's own, not today's one, though...My second immigration, on the other hand, was a fully conscious decision, which we have made as a family. Consequently, almost four years ago, I have packed my life in boxes again and moved literally to the end of the world, otherwise called New Zealand.
Being an immigrant at least once in a lifetime changes one's life forever, let alone, twice...
Since making lists is something that proved to work well in my previous posts, I will try to make a list again, of twists in my mind due to immigration experiences.
1. Language salad- One of the privileges of a young age is the amazing flexibility of our brain that allows us to quickly absorb new languages. On initial stages, it's a matter of survival, of getting on with basics, finding your way from A to B, explaining your classmates that you are not an alien and not an idiot, you just don't speak their language yet. Later on, as years progressed and with them my broader understanding of the cultural context of the spoken language (Hebrew, in this case) , I have gained more confidence and gradually Hebrew became my second- equal to Russian language. All the new knowledge that I have acquired in Hebrew became virtually impossible for me to discuss in Russian, due to lack of sufficient Russian vocabulary.The more I have used Hebrew in my every day life, the less I have used Russian, but my accent stayed right there, refusing to let go. Russian had, sadly, remained on the level of 11 years old girl....and that was the case until I have met my hubby, who gave it a serious push up. It wasn't until much later in my life, when I have started travelling the world and, in fact, planning my next "big step" of moving to NZ, that I have realized my priceless gift of knowing two completely useless languages, outside of their respective countries of speech. Today, in NZ, I feel how my kids repeat the same old pattern and how the battle now is to preserve our precious useless languages and not to succumb to English fully.As far as I am concerned, third language will always remain third...I am only afraid that in case of stress and emergency, I will have a black out and people will find it (even more...) challenging to help me:-) In every day life, my resolution is to speak out, not to shy away, as funny as I might sound sometimes, I choose to laugh with others, rather then take offence.
Here are few of my "pearls of wisdom":
- I like to rinse (instead of dip) a biscuit in my tea
- I have once said to my patient that he has a pale leather (rather then skin:-)
2. What/Who is "normal"? Sense of "normality" is very variable and is dependent on cultural, mental and geographical aspects, but we, humans, are constantly sub-consciously measuring ourselves and others on that spectrum of "Normality". Some of us are more conformic to the concept, some are less, but it's always on our minds. In a foreign country "normality" of myself and others is constantly questioned and being put to the test. The deeper I dig , the blurrier are the borders. What is considered "normal" in one place is absolutely unacceptable in another.
~Kiwi people (...as opposed to Kiwi birds and Kiwi fruits:-) can be often seen walking on the streets with their bare feet. Interestingly enough, their feet are reasonably clean despite that fact. In Israel walking with bare feet would be considered completely distasteful, wierd and even potentially dangerous.
~We, Israelis, have a habit of speaking out loud, using our hands. In NZ it may come across as rude or aggressive.
~Kiwis have a very "laid back" nature. Sometimes, when applying for a job and naturally expecting to hear from potential employers within a reasonable amount of time (2 weeks or so...), I and Mark were receiving replies even after 2-3 months, not even remembering what was exactly the job in question. In our Israeli shaped minds, it was "normal" to assume that our application must have been declined, since no response was received within our (again!) reasonable time frame...
The realization of lack of absolute "normality" and acknowledgment of diversity makes me much more open- minded and adjustable person
 3. Life is NEVER boring! Being an immigrant gives me an external objective view on the country welcoming me and also, after few months, on the country, I have left behind. Despite the relative comfort of knowing English on time of arrival to NZ (as opposed to NOT knowing a single word in Hebrew on arrival to Israel), I still needed to struggle daily with language difficulties, cultural gaps and constant minor day-to-day issues.
Let me start with the Kiwi accent (the one that Kiwi people produce)- On initial stages I was absolutely terrified by it, it didn't even sound like English to me. Having a common sense and knowing the general context of a conversation, I could have managed to carry on, as long as the person was in front of me and I could see his "body language" in action and also use mine. My stress was sky rocketing whenever the phone was ringing. The fear of not understanding the person on the other side of the line ,or even worse, misunderstanding him and sounding stupid on reply, had paralyzing effect on me. And I was willing to do virtually ANYTHING to avoid phone conversations.
My own accent- the one that speaks volumes for me and even the politest of people, I have met here, couldn't help themselves asking me about my "exotic" accent. My friends at work even "renamed and re-branded" some of the widely used medical terms, to make them sound with "Bialik" accent. I have decided to take pride in it, rather then offence.
Cultural gaps- Wow, what a strong expression! These "gaps" or differences do exist, indeed, but second time around, they don't seem to me as deep or significant, as I would have perceived them as a teenager.One of my "brightest/darkest" memories of first days in Israeli school, was getting into a physical fight with a girl who made fun of my "Russian" clothes and appearance. Back at the time, it was super important to me to be "popular" among my peers. Today, 25 years later, I'm  confident with who I am and can't be bothered to make any efforts to make people "like" me, so they either do or don't! Today, when the Israeli in me takes over, I can speak out loud(er) then the average Kiwi person, I can be very straight forward and "call rock a rock", I'm not always happy to join the "laid back" nature at work (but I am getting there...:-) When the Russian in me takes over, I remember my childhood spent in a communist country and think that actually, it did have some positive aspects, such as self-discipline and sense of collective responsibility, which wouldn't hurt my kids to have. It does also contribute to our "Friday drinks" in a shape of Vodka with my Russian accent. When the (new) Kiwi makes attempts to come out of me, I am always happy to busy myself with finding the perfect costume for the next dress-up party, or stay for drink at work on Friday evening, or take interest in the Royal family..., or Lorde.., or cricket..., or rugby( Go All Blacks!)
A term of "Darwinian intelligence" comes to mind, when I think about the many impacts of immigration on one's life. Darwin stipulated that “Intelligence is based on how efficient a species became at doing the things it needs to survive.” 
For me, almost everything that seemed to be an absolute truth, becomes irrelevant in the New Zealand. The differences begin with the way I say Hello, my sense of humor, what I like to eat, what I like to wear, etc... It feels like a complete loss of reference that needs to be rebuilt as fast as possible, for my own survival and success. Only my own open mindness and flexibility, I reckon, will enable me to call my immigration story, a successful one in a time perspective.

 Every day for me is like a daily practice of my "Darwinian intelligence"

From grief to life

April is a very loaded month of the year. It is loaded with high intensity polar emotions of grief and sorrow vs. joy and happiness. It took me a while to sit myself down and try to put in writing my emotional storm of thoughts.
The month starts with Holocaust Remembrance Day. Every day is actually Holocaust remembrance day, but this day is one of a few internationally acknowledged. Every year of my life the realization of what have happened there, in the darkest times of our history, hits me stronger and stronger. Every year I participate in ceremonies and hear the stories of survivors, who are , unfortunately,left fewer and fewer in this world. Their stories today seem to be of a particular importance, because soon there won't be anyone to tell them. I sit and try to remember every detail, look at their face and try to investigate every wrinkle, that tells the story of their life, of their enormous suffering, but also the eternal proof that "we are here to stay, forever." One of the most memorable stories was told by the youngest Schindler's list survivor, she was only 7 years old at the time, who shared her story with the Jewish community of NZ. She was a guest of Auckland university and kindly agreed to honor us with her presence at community's ceremony too. Such gesture is not obvious at all, since crossing the world in this age and coming all the way from Israel to NZ, would be difficult even for a young person.
...And the SIX MILLION...How do you ever comprehend that??? How do you explain it to your children? At what age do you start exposing them to the topic?
                           
                                             6 candles for the six million

This year , I have taken my 11 years old son with me, for the first time... He didn't want to go, he said that he knows "everything", because they have studied at school...I made him come...He was completely silent throughout...I could see how he finds it difficult even to form a question in his mind. I have decided not to "press" too much, not to "dig", just let it sink in his mind...I am sure that by next year, his thoughts will grow bigger and I am just hopeful I will be able to provide the answers and maybe we will just search for them together...And my six years old?????? How do you even start delivering this in such a tender age?
I find that living out of Israel and not having these complex issues as part of a school curriculum, makes it much more difficult to deliver to children and make them want to listen and actually absorb the magnitude of the topic.
Shortly, after Holocaust remembrance day, came IDF Fallen Soldiers and terrorism victims Remembrance Day. On this day all of Israelis (inside and outside of Israel) paused to remember the fallen soldiers. Virtually everyone of us knows a family who has grieved because of war. Virtually everyone, however young or old, knows a soldier or a civilian who was...and no more...This grief is , very sadly, continuously updated and ongoing and it is with us every day, but on this day it becomes unbearable. This year, it has been estimated that close to 25% of Israel's Jewish population had visited military cemeteries. It would have been translated to one million NZ population or 75 million American population, but neither that many Kiwis, nor Americans, attend their respective memorial ceremonies. We, Israelis, do! It personally touches each and everyone of us. In NZ, we had quite an impressive ceremony this year, with considerable number of community members in attendance. The grief of personal loss reached NZ too, with one Kiwi Jewish family who lost their son in "Protective Edge" operation and another sad story was told by a brother of fallen soldier, who made it his mission to travel around the world and tell his brother's story. For me it was another evening of rivers of tears, bringing up memories of a lost class mate. Bringing up thoughts of whether it will ever stop. Bring up emotions of mixed guilt and sense of relief of not living in Israel anymore. What a pain, heartache...almost physical...
                         From Auckland's memorial ceremony, 2015

I ask myself is it morally acceptable to "escape" this pain sometimes? Maybe just for one year? To pretend that there is no remembrance day this year (it's relatively easy, when living overseas)?  Because those who sacrificed, sacrificed it all for us to live on. So how can we "take a break" from their memory?
On the very next day came ANZAC centennial Remembrance Day. This day is quite new to my repertoire of grief and ,to be honest, I was absolutely emotionally exhausted. Yet, I realize that I live in NZ now and it's history is now my history too. So I have pinned a poppy to my chest and honored the brave Kiwis who were mercilessly  slaughtered in an absolutely unnecessary battle on a Turkish land of Gallipolli by Ottoman Islamic aggressor, defending the Royal Crown and the ally forces.Sounds like history is a bit repetitive, but getting into politics is not my current intention.
                             ANZAC memorial in Israel, near Gaza Border

I will just finish up by sharing one story . While asking a patient about his health history, drinking habits is one of the routine questions. One patient (50+ years old), last week, replied to me, that he only drinks once a year, but he drinks a lot on that day, 6 bottles! When I asked if he wouldn't mind to explain himself, he told me that his grandfather had 6 siblings, whom he ALL lost to WWI. Ever since, he "celebrates" ANZAC at the cemetery, by drinking a bottle of wine for each uncle and a potential family that he had lost.
ANZAC is a National Holiday in NZ and is celebrated by having a long weekend, followed after dawn ceremonies of remembrance. Exactly, like Israelis celebrate Independence Day, right after Remembrance Day. I, personally, find the sharp switch very difficult to adopt to and it takes me a while to "get going". But, I guess, it shows, that we, people of different nations, choose LIFE.
                 We are the light of freedom, for which many died in darkness!