Today I have woken up to the sunny/rainy morning of sobriety and determined to summarize what I have learnt about this life so far. I would love to give it a "selling" title of "15(...or any other number) things I have learnt or known", but the truth is that I have no idea how many things I will come up with. Let's see:
1. Age is just a number- on an emotional-mental level, I must agree with this statement. We should act as we feel and not according to what society expects from us at certain age. I have known a lot of wonderful people, who had done some unbelievable things in their advanced age, but I have also known people who were less fortunate. As a medical professional, I also know that our body is like a machine, the older it gets, the more maintenance it requires. We shouldn't ignore the inner "noises" that it makes. Prevention is the best way!
2. Having a baby at 40- Many of my older girl friends were trying to convince me throughout the years, that having the last child at around 40 years old, pumps in a lot of young energy, together with hormonal flow and is basically like the drug of youth. They claimed that I was still too young to understand and the day will come. Well....ain't gonna happen in my case!!!!! I will feel much younger and liberated when I am finally able to go on a multiple days track to Milford Sound (NZ South Island) together with my both kids, not worrying for their sleeping routines, nappy changes, breastfeeding, rather then being endlessly tired, caring for a baby. Circadian clock is a powerful thing!
3. Life is too short for drama- The move to NZ really gave me a whole new perspective on little and big things in life. The only BIG thing is the health of myself and my family and their well being. In other words, nothing else is worth wasting my neurons on, they are not regenerating!!! Just remembering the endless amount of the intrigues at work and the amount of stress that it had generated in my life...I could have saved myself from so many grey hairs that I now need to dye meticulously every two month, to look as if nothing touched my hair:-)
4. Toxic people in my life- Absolutely something to get rid of! The move to NZ, again, helped a lot with this. It just naturally occurred. I reckon, that as I approach 40, I am confident enough in who I am and I don't need any reassurances from anyone. Trying to make people to like me is not my thing anymore, they either like me for who I am or they do not. All others may just "un-follow" or be "un-followed".
5. It's OK not to fit in- This thought would be absolutely unacceptable for me just few years ago, in my 20's and early 30's. Today I know that it is way more important to live to my full potential and find a place where I would desire to fit in, rather then flexing myself into something that had come across first.
6. Resilience- Today I know that I am way stronger then I ever knew. Nothing is the "end of the world." I have been through enough hardships and stress, to know that there is life after it, as well. Life is stronger then anything! Time heals..., but also deepens the wounds sometimes...
7. It's an absolute waste of time comparing myself to others- I know it on a personal level and I know it on a professional level, as well. Just as much as there are no two people who experience the same disease in a similar way, because everybody's body and soul are unique and these experiences are incomparable. On that same note, my successes and my failures are just my own, unlike anybody else's. Things that will make me feel better, won't necessarily help my friend, or the other way around. I am special and unique!
8. The realization that people who look over-confident and lead perfect lives on TV screens and magazines are just as f****ed up as everybody else, if not more...- Nope, they don't know more then me about anything. Their personalities on TV are just staged and "fotoshopped",even if they are not actors. Everyone is just a black box, full of their own sh*t, that I wouldn't want to mix with mine.
9. It's OK not to be a parent who "knows EVERYTHING", like my parents attempted to be- In a so rapidly ever-changing world, it's OK to search for answers together with your children, to teach them that "knowing" is not always the key, but " knowing to ask the right questions" is! Especially, in my reality , where every generation of my family was growing up and living in a different part of the world, in a different reality. I want to teach my children to see the human in me, the one with emotions and doubts, the one who is ever growing ,together with them and dynamic, rather then stiff and rigid.
10. Maintaining my own style- Ever since I gained consciousness regarding my looks, which was in early teenage hood, I was trying different styles, different looks, different images, until one day the style became my own. Until ORANGE color became literally my trade mark and my nears and dears started saying that "Orange is way more then just a color for me". It's a powerful feeling, that regardless the seasonal fashion, I am identified by own style. I am my style!
11. Knowing my goals in life- I finally know what I want. By saying this I mean that I know what I realistically want, not when I will "grow up", but now, in this real life. I also know what are my boundaries and rather then wasting time on fantasizing about becoming "rich and famous", I prefer to invest my energy in creating as much perfect "work-life" balance as possible. I am also quite good at it, I must say!!!
We only live once! There are no general rehearsals! It all happens today!
P.S. Did you know that "Facebook" is the second most popular word that starts with "F"?
The next most popular "F" word would be "Fabulous at almost Forty!:-)
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